What has life taught me?

I have been taught a few things by life. 

All things you do in life may not go wrong. Some work. In a few,  you may exceed  expectations.  In a couple of things, you may suck. Keep three bins  1. Things I am good at   2. Things I am okay/average at  3. Things I suck at.   If you have one or two things you are good at  and a few you are  average at, you are good to go. If you are ambitious, you can add a fourth box called - things I excel at. I feel, if you keep working on things you are good at, you will excel in it eventually. If you can make an income out of things you excel at - then you are lucky. Live with your limitations which you can try and improve. Say, if you are too demanding in relationships - you can practise some amount of self control. But if you are a bad singer and you want to be the singing star in every party - that improvement is difficult to come by. You are bad in statistics and analytics but the world says analytics is the next oil and you want to make a career out of it - your career demise is sure. 

You need money to survive in this world. If you are not financially independent, it might be a bit difficult in this world. You should generate an income and save some of it. Learn how to invest money so that you can steadily create wealth over a period of time. Everyone need not work in investment banking or in Google or Apple. If you know how to live within your limits and if you know how to save and invest, over a period of time, you can be financially independent. But if you are lazy and don't want to learn about investment options and insurance products - pay someone to do that.  In short, make money and multiply it. 

If you keep seeking validation from others, you are bound to be unhappy and afraid. In personal life and at work place, you can try and understand the expectations from you. If you can, deliver on those to the best of your abilities.  You can clinically seek feedback but if you are always seeking validation from others, you are a slave to those people. A kind of mental slavery. This should not be misunderstood for arrogance. In fact, it is the conviction we have in ourselves. And if we are wrong, we evolve over  a period of time. So stop thinking about all those mistakes one did in the past. That is the way it was  supposed to be. Do not bother.

It is good to have hobbies. It relaxes you. It could be any thing - watching movies, reading, gardening, going for a stroll, playing a sport. Basically things which you do  for your soul. It can completely lift your mood up.  Sometimes I thank God for the hobbies I enjoy. A good book I read or a great movie I watch or strolling in a beautiful garden, makes me feel blessed. Hobbies bring great balance in life. If you are working the whole day, listening to beautiful romantic songs on your commute back  home, may just relax you. 

Everyone may not like you. You also don't like everyone around you. But if a few people are fond of you, you are lucky. If some relationships do not work out or break, it is fine. Bonds which are fragile is bound to break.  You can sulk for a few days. Brain eventually will make you forget such things. We tend to forget the bad episodes in our life sooner than later. If you are a giver, you will always get a lot of love. If you are only a taker - people may call you selfish and may not stick with you. Please understand that nobody is perfect. We are not perfect either. 

If you find love, you are very lucky. It makes you feel special. I have read somewhere that love is the festival of body and mind. Enjoy the moments and devour the happiness. When you grow older, you will have beautiful memories to cherish and feel good about. Just like art, love is something to be felt and not explained. If you get a good partner, half the job is done. I feel, if you find 2 or 3 adorable qualities in your partner, it is great. You can ignore some things which you don't appreciate in them. For example, if your partner is soft spoken , caring and responsible, you can ignore the wet towels in the bed, not answering calls in time etc., 

God can act as the best personal shrink. I feel that is what it is all about. When I pray, I am practically reminding myself about all my important goals in my mind. Running a list and reiterating my commitment. When I seek the support of an unknown entity, I am becoming more optimistic. And if it opens a more profound path of balance and patience, you have managed to take yourself to the next level in the game of life. It helps to be a believer. 

And last but not the least. Exercising moderation in all aspects of life keeps you healthy.  And accepting that life is difficult. Most of the time, it sucks. It is normal. 

And now we have reached the end. Everything in life has to come to an end. Just accept it. 

 

 

 

 

My fascination with Julia Child

My fascination and obsession with Julia Child started with watching the movie, “Julie & Julia”. From the first scene onwards, I realised that the movie was special and did not want to take my eyes or attention away from the screen.  It was a delectable experience. Seldom did I know that I would be watching this movie numerous times. What attracted me first was the beautiful countryside of France and the elegant and majestic Paris, as Julia Child and her husband Paul Child drove to their new accommodation in Paris on their arrival from the States.  Within the first ten minutes of the movie, you are introduced to the French cuisine and how Julia and Paul enjoy the buttery, beautiful and very delicious French preparations. Julia was played by the most talented Meryl Streep and Paul was brought to life by Stanley Tucci. You discover Paris through the eyes and heart of Julia Child.  Shopping in the market, buying cheese, tasting juicy pears, checking pans and talking incessantly with the merchants, bakers and vegetable vendors in her broken French, she transports you to Paris of the 1940s and 50s.  Her congeniality wins over her handicap with the language. In one of his many letters to his cousin residing in the United States,  Paul wrote that the  famously rude French were described as very  friendly and joyful  people by Julia. He felt, she brought out the best in them. 

Julia's tryst with France

Julia slowly found what she loved. She was enamoured by the French cuisine. She wanted to learn more.  In the 1950s, she joined a school to learn cooking. She went to “Cordon Bleu”,  one of the best culinary schools  in the world.  To her disappointment, she  found the lessons for housewives ordinary and boring.  She fought her way to the more serious, professional cooking course. This was an all male class room, they were getting trained to be professional cooks and treated her like a misfit in that classroom. Well, they couldn’t ignore Julia Child. Her competitive spirit, talent and hunger for learning the artful and delicious french cuisine made her almost the leader of that classroom. If you have not yet watched the movie, I urge you to watch how the interesting life of Julia Child comes alive in the screen.  A chance encounter with two french women, Louisette and Simca, she starts her career in cooking. This time with a book!  The movie takes you through the journey of planning the book, its evolution and how they teach  Americans living in Paris, some authentic French cooking. This transition or transformation in Julia’s life is the most interesting, hilarious and the beautiful part of the movie for me. By the time, the book, “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” got published, Julia Child had  found the purpose of her ife. Her ikigai! I was enchanted by her journey, how she chose a career that she was so passionate about.  Her journey was her most rewarding experience. 

Julie Powell: The joyful other half of the movie

When I watched the movie for the first time, I had no clue about the real Julia Child. I was awed by Meryl  Streep who is a living legend, I became fond of Paul Child, played to perfection by Stanley Tucci and was deeply connected to the beautiful blogger cum cooking enthusiast Julie Powell played by Amy Adams and her husband Eric. As a Mumbaite who has traveled in suburban trains, and worked boring jobs I could connect with Amy Adams' frustration with her monotonous life, her boring commutes and almost inconsequential life filled with boastful and shallow female friends. She resurrects herself as a writer by starting a blog. Ably supported by her loving husband, she starts blogging her way though Julia  Child’s 524 recipes from her book. What I watched was again a real life, a life filled with routine, boredom, disappointments, self-pity, love, friendship, soulful writing,  crunchy bruschetta ,cakes and  the  cycle of ups and downs. The triumph and the failures made it look so real to me. It reminded me of my confusions, my helplessness in a crowded and busy city, loneliness of not knowing where life was taking me and also the joyful companionship of a loving husband and the pleasure of great hobbies. 

The movie played a magic on me, how? 

I watched the movie again and again. I watched Julia Child’s cookery show, The French Chef in Youtube. I watched her in almost all the popular shows of those times including David Letterman’s show. I always felt or rather feel that I know Julia Child. I know her journey. I had read her book,  "My Life in France" co authored with Paul Child’s nephew. I knew about her life as she told it. I am quite fond of Paul Child too. Once a student of mine asked about my husband. He wanted to know about my family. I told him, ours is a relationship almost comparable to that between Julia and Paul Child. Paul was excited about anything Julia wanted to do or engage in. He supported her, indulged her and was  most enthusiastic about anything she did. That is exactly what my husband Venkatesh is all about. Always a step ahead of me in all my endeavours, the most supporting husband and the most indulging friend. In the movie, Julie Powell talks about how she and Julia have the best husbands and I tell them both, make that three, my husband is loving, indulging and supporting too.  Hey, this movie is a personal one for me. 

                                                     Julia with Paul Child 

Julia Child: My Mentor 

I loved the fact that Julia worked in the secret services (today’s CIA). She was a file clerk who was privy to some of the most classified information  during the World War II.  She was posted in Sri Lanka and China during the war.  She got married in her thirties, a rarity at that time.  She met Paul Child in Sri Lanka, he was working in the Secret Service too.  Both were not spies. Julia Child is the quintessential independent woman to me. She was independent in every way. She was educated, she worked, she earned a living, she drove around and did not need a chauffeur to  take her around, she could type, go to the bank, she could take part in a conversation whether it was about politics or art, she was never intimidated by men, she had strong  political opinions and stood her ground. Pretty much everything, an empowered woman should  be. She used her time well. Something housewives are accused of being imperfect at.  In ‘"My Life in France”, Julia wrote about how she spent her day while writing her book. In the  morning, she shopped for butter, meat, vegetables and groceries in the markets in Paris.She also finished her cooking in the mornings.  Afternoons were spent in trying recipes and writing them down, in short, she was  working on her book.  Evenings were for leisure and rest. I loved the way in which she wrote about her failures too. The  manuscript was rejected a couple of times, she bettered it every time. She had to leave Paris as the bosses were hostile to Paul Child.  Finally, “ Mastering the Art of French Cooking” saw the light of the day.  As a promotion for the book, she got invited to a Television show. Guess what, she got an offer to do her own cookery show after this interview.   It  started her career in Television and  her celebrityhood. Both Paul and Julia lived to their nineties. Paul died in 1994 and Julia in 2004. The movie “Julie and Julia” was released in 2009. I am most thankful to the makers of “Julie & Julia” for bringing  the most enchanting Julia Child to my life.  I always remember her unique way of saying, “Bon Appetite”. Cheers to the future screenings of “Julie & Julia” in my drawing room in suburban Mumbai!  

Coffee: My soul-mate!

God created beings, both humans and animals so that they can savour the God’s Kingdom, taste the drama of life, enjoy the culinary marvels and absorb oneself in the lap of nature  so as to stand at awe of the creator and his creation. It is just a marvellous life, with joys and sorrows intertwined. So what stops anyone from completely immersing oneself with the melodrama of life? Most beautiful part of human civilisation is in the fine gastronomical delight ,we have created. Well you may not know how your day is going to turn out. There are uncertainties in life, but  I can be  sure of starting my day with the most aromatic filter coffee brewing in my kitchen each morning. Freshly prepared coffee, is the first thing you get right in the day. It is your first creation each day. And when you take your first sip, you are proud that you prepared it well, you followed your tradition and you feel like you are  a  part of the coffee lovers’ community in the world. I wonder, why there is no coffee ceremonies in the world similar to the tea ceremonies in Japan. May be because the entire coffee experience is so complete that it does not require any fancy ceremonies, fancy cups or cookies. It is complete in itself  and  it requires no addendum. 

Just like the wine connoisseurs’ say, sip your wine, hold it in your tongue, taste it softly and slowly drink it  and feel it flow  down. This rule does not apply to wine alone. It holds good for the tasty south Indian filter coffee which I relish in the mornings. It is like a ritual, passed on to generations by proud ancestors. When the hot water gushes into the coffee powder in the decoction vessel,  the aroma of the coffee fills the whole apartment. Adding the hot filtered coffee to the freshly boiled cow milk is  what zen is made of. I have once overheard an old aunt of mine, describing her perfect idea of an Iyer daughter in law. Though, I do not agree with her, the coffee connection made the description interesting for me. According to her, if the daughter in law does not prepare the perfect blend of filter coffee and if she can’t recite Shyamala Dandakam, she can’t be the perfect one, sigh!

For me, there is a choice of coffee which matches my different moods or  time of the day. As you readers know by now, mornings have to start with fresh filter coffee. During the day, say to beat that nasty sleep lingering  heavily on my eyelids, it has to be the hot black coffee. With each sip, you savour the tasty coffee and experience the gush of  energy. When the hot brown fluid  flows down  your throat, your brain awakens and your body is energised. You are aware that you feel awfully stylish and smart holding that black brew in your hand. Hey, don’t be judgemental. We are what we think we are! Black coffee is sexy and smart and makes you feel really grown up and matured. Black coffee is the whiskey of the coffee world, period!

Then comes the beautiful Sunday. You are relaxed and ready to be pampered. Break-fast is over and you decide to treat yourself with an exquisite brew. And what do you drink? Turkish Coffee. Turks had figured it out long back. In fact, Turkish Coffee invites you to an ancient culture. It is like time has stood still in your coffee cup. I open my Turkish coffee lazed with cardamom flavour and brew it in simmering hot water. You value and cherish the powdered coffee. Turks prepare the coffee in a specially designed copper sauce pan. When the coffee brews, take the froth in the spoon and apply it around the rim of your cup. Then pour the coffee.  The aroma of the raw coffee scented  with the cardamom flavour invites you to be part of this ever delightful experience of enjoying this ancient brew. I am reminded of savouring this delightful brew  in an old coffee shop in the majestic Grand Bazaar at Istanbul. I feel  the resilience of the Turks, the beauty of their culture and the grand status of the Bospherous, all represented by the Turkish coffee, which is tasty, rough and is elegantly presented in a  small and beautiful cup. 

Coffee experiences of the western kind, makes you more indulgent. The vanilla cream coffee, the never failing cappuccino and the many flavours which await you at  their local coffee shops award coffee with a grandiose it deserves in the gastronomic world. You realise that no matter what happens  in your life, you can always have a good cup of coffee. And that is a relief.

Serendipity! That's how I conclude 2016!

I took a break from my full-time job in Jan 2016, in my mind, I had planned a one year break! I had no clue, how this year was going to revive me!

I had decided to gift this year to me! To relax, to read, to spend quality time with my family and to live a healthy life!  

Boy! what a year it was!

I was diagnosed with Aortic Stenosis!

I drove to the hospital and did a 2D Echo after a passing out episode at home, two days back. It was Feb 10th and the next day was my birthday!  And I found myself closer to the other side of life, that day!

The young cardiologist told me that I suffer from Severe Aortic Stenosis! 

I had never heard of this medical condition before! 

So what should we do?, I asked.,

He said, “You need to  undergo an open heart surgery and replace your aortic valve”

He continued, “There is no medicine for this, you don’t need to come back here…please  consult a heart surgeon!”

I asked how him how grave  it was…

“Do it as early as possible, don’t wait for long….not even six months..”

I came back home! Told my folks and friends…We started researching on Aortic Stenosis..it is the calcification of aortic valves…

I came to know another interesting thing! 

I was bicuspid by birth. I had a congenital heart disease, instead of 3 petals, my aortic valve had only 2 petals.  Around 2% of the population are born bicuspid! 

My mom wondered aloud, “you were always the slowest wherever we went…not very active…but we never knew that you had heart problem."  I was happy with all the attention! 

You generally live a smooth life till around 40 and aortic stenosis sets in by 41 or 42.

Once we met Dr. Ramakant Panda, we were relaxed. We decided to go for the Valve Replacement  Surgery at Asian Heart Hospital.

Just followed the process from there on….

There was a lot of emotion, pain, day to day struggles…

It was a difficult time for  my mom, husband and son….they were there through thick and thin…I am not a very easy person to be with..I can be nasty and highly demanding at times…I love them for tolerating me and  putting my interest and pain before theirs…

I was overwhelmed by the love and prayers that poured in..... It is a beautiful world. 

I watched Television, loads of it….read…slept, walked, exercised, and lost around 14 kgs. 

I also had a Dengue attack by October end , 2016! Survived it…it was tiring…platelet count dipping to 17000…

I was back on  track in 12 days…The mighty mosquito could slow me down only so much. 

I taught around 120 hours in the last 3 months of 2016! My entire teaching load of the year 2015!

At the end of 2016!  I live a healthy life, lost around 14 kgs, read, relax and follow my health routine and of course, I work!

My moment of serendipity came with a heart condition! And, It revived me! 

Happy to be back on track! Welcome 2017!

Interesting political brands of India

Charismatic leadership has been absent for a longtime in the Indian political arena. The Indian citizens were bored of the artificial banter of its political class which left them yawning, cribbing and sympathizing with their own plight. 

Former Prime Minister Man Mohan Singh's decade long mute leadership left the capital a dry and boring place till Narendra Modi arrived. A leader who was not scared of making promises, who had a Gujarat model to present to the nation and who wore his heart on his sleeves. I saw the serial watching house wives getting glued to television whenever he was delivering a speech. They found politics interesting, decided to visit Varanasi and enquired where does he purchase his Kurtha from? 

He is media savvy, takes critics by the horns, emotional when necessary and exhibits the marketing skills of an American President. What makes the Modi brand click a note with the citizens? His success story of the governance of Gujarat, his focus on development, his ability to dream, the image of Modi managed through media, his tweets, his youtube videos, his appearance, his energy, leaked stories of his private life and above all his great communication skills. He has been able to clear himself from the post Godhra carnage of Gujarat to a great extent. 

Indian political scene also saw an Arvind Kejriwal, an ex Civil Service officer making huge waves. He was successful in making anti-corruption movement a main stream discussion point in the last Loksabha election. Was elected the Chief Minister of Delhi but resigned as his government did not have enough freedom to operate with the crippled support from Congress. He may have goofed up a tad too much after the resignation of his government, but will always remain as a man who brought the common man's woes to the main stream political agenda. He has all that the Indian middle class value. He went to an IIT, cleared the Civil Services Exam, lives in a joint family with his parents and to top it all his daughter got a whopping 96% in the Class 12 Exam. Somewhat like an American dream again.

Indian politics is witnessing action once again. We have interesting personal brands to look at, evaluate and pin our hopes on. I wish more and more dynamic, deserving people enter the political scene in India. Indian states have also seen some interesting leadership, like CM of Odisa, Mr. Patnaik and CM of Goa, Mr. Parikar who has also showcased development as their main agenda.

Interesting days are back here again for the politically savvy...